MC April Fool-izzie

I'm still sick and catching a bus to work. I'm always wary of sitting in the back of bus and muni, because that's where most the 'action' is. Drugs, tagging, hijackings - oh I've seen it. But today, snot riddled sinuses muffled warnings, and I ventured deep into the pit of pub transpo. And wouldn't ya know it, I found me a lil #24 rapper/trickster. That's right, a rapper AND a trickster!


He started by yelling the 'n' word A LOT. He tried busting rap lines that were just mediocre and over done. "We got the money, the money, we be flippin the power the power..." Very T-pain-ish. He was butchering standards of Snoop, Em, and Biggie. I was inclined to tap him on the shoulder, confident that I could out rap him. But while my OG words are bloody raw, filled with pain and destruction, my actual rap execution is horrible. So I rescinded the challenge I only imagined.

I did, however, enjoy his interludes of phone calls to his friends. And he had them on speaker...

[ring ring]

Hello?
Yo yo..I just passed your house and it's ON FIRE!
What? Are you serious?!
Ya man, there's all this smoke and shit.
Really?!
Ha ha ha! April fools!! I got ya, though, didn't I? You thought your house was burning up!
Ya...
I gotta go, on my way to work. [click]

Rap continues: And the pigs be rollin us rollin us, and we be hustlin hustlin...

[ring ring]

Hello?
Yo yo, I'm in town, at the Greyhound station. Come get me.
What? For reals?
Ya, shit man, I'm tired. Pick me up. I'm crashin witchu.
Umm...
Ha ha ha! April fools!! You were ready to come get me though, huh?
I guess.
Haha! I gotta go, I'm on my way to work. [click]

He had an ID around his neck, revealing he works at the Goodwill. I was tempted to follow him in the store. I wanted to tell him that I just arrived via Greyhound to find my house caught on fire. And if he'd help me, I'd sign him to be the biggest rapper MTV had ever seen. I'm positive this guy would have gone for it. Then I'd scream APRIL FOOLS! And run out the store with my own HA HA HA!

But my sickness and senses held me back. I just blew my nose and continued to bounce over pot holes on Mission. Next year...you will be mine, my rapper/trickster. You will be mine.