Cough cough, zombie wink

I'm home sick today and quickly running out of ideas of things to do from my bed. I can't watch anymore tv. If I peruse facebook a second longer, I'll be tempted to stalk an ex which will only give me the crazies. Surrounded by used tissue paper and going mad in 3-2-1...

What to do? For the longest time, my sister has been on my non existent nuts to join a dating website. She said, "Let's put up a profile together!" I was confused. Um, like, share a profile? One's straight and in Newport Beach, and one's gay in San Francisco...send us a wink! "No no, Candi, you make a profile and I'll do it too." Gotcha, that makes plenty more sense.

I click and join OkCupid under the profile, ZombieWhisperer- 28 yr old gay female from San Francisco. Of course I'm a touch nervous that someone will see me and say, "I know that chick! Poor desperate thing." But then again, why are they browsing profiles of the brave and single? The upside to being seen is seeing someone you know. Hahahaaaa...pickaboo, I see you fellow city dwelling singles!

Omg #1. I had NO idea this chick was even into chicks. I see her about once a week and have always creeped on her. A few months ago, I nervously told her I found her inspiring. "Really? That is so sweet. I'm so glad you told me that." I failed to mention that a majority of what she inspires is one dirty thought after another, and a firey jealousy each time I see her holding hands with a new guy. Ha!

Omg #2. This chick plays on an opposing football team and is a total b.i.t.c.h. on the field. No one on my team cares for her, and she is waaay easy to tease when she is foosball flustered. BUT I love what she wrote on OkCupid, and she's not that bad looking when she is sweat and scowl free. She too is into political sex scandals! I want to pee in a stall next to her and tap my foot, then whisper, "I hear your cat has mental problems..."

This is fun. I just sent my first wink, not to either of the afore mentioned, and her profile is not shared with her sister.